We were late to our own induction. We had literally no good excuse except that we just took our time and for some reason, I felt the urge to put mascara on before we left… which led me to contouring my face with my Old Navy bronzer for a hot minute then applying some Vaseline to my dry lips. (Yes-Vaseline because my children eat all of my chapstick).
I also had this GRAND PLAN of video documenting the entire labor/delivery process with Emme Kate since it was a scheduled induction… 7 hours in, the videos came to an abrupt halt. As did the text updates, dumb Insta stories, and card playing.
They started the pitocin at 7 am.. and contractions started almost immediately. They were bearable and slowly intensified over the next 5+ hours. Honestly, it felt like we were pretending to be in labor. Like a twisted version of playing house.
I slowly…slloooowwwlly dilated and was fairly determined to do this without an epidural despite everything I read about induction that said: GET THE EPIDURAL IDIOT.
At 2 pm I was dilated to a 6 and the dr broke my water. Yup… imagine a crochet hook… ah never mind. I’ll spare those details.
Let’s just say-that’s when it got real. Like-not playing house anymore this FREAKING HURTS real.
I put down my phone and hunched over a peanut shaped exercise thing for the next 2 hours. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me or help me.
It was like running a marathon that I couldn’t really train for, but had to somehow finish anyways. Torture.
At 4 pm… 2 hours of hell later… I was still dilated to a 6. “HOLY EFFING COW I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE” just kept running through my head. Mamas-you know what I’m talking about.
Zack kindly and calmly mentioned the “E” word. I think fire came out of my mouth… with some kind, soft spoken words that essentially could be translated to “no thank you.”
Another contraction came on and I said “GET ME THE EPIDURAL.”
They came, cleaned and prepped but as soon as I sat up, something changed. It was like my contractions weren’t the worst part anymore… all of a sudden there was a weird pressure instead. I asked to hold off on the epidural.
Two more contractions came… the poor CRNA kept asking what I wanted her to do so I just said GO FOR IT.. and she stuck me. Boom… epidural in place… NAP TIIIMMEE!!
I laid down, and immediately felt like I needed to push. I thought to myself.. “no no no I just got a freaking tube inserted into my back for nothing!” My left foot started getting numb and my body was saying PUSH!
I announced immediately, as Zack was getting all snuggled in for nap time:
Everyone panicked and I pushed. My doctor came running in as soon as she heard me and as she looked down, she announced “IT” was happening.
Just in time for my legs to be fully jello.. wonderful.
3 contractions and about 6 pushes later… a squishy, wet, warm, tiny (TINY!!) human lay on my chest.
It was wonderful. Nothing else in the entire universe mattered.
THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS GIFT! I just kept saying over and over again as I wrapped my seemingly massive hands around her tiny body.
Emme Kate, mommy loves you as deeply and fully as humanly possible. I promise to love and take care of you ALL of my days.
Love forever, Mommy.